Slamburglars Handbook

1. Shock travel is for bitches.
2. Dumped so low the panties practically fall off.
3. If your car is drivable, you're not low enough.
4. We use pinch welds for parking brakes.
5. Slamburglars don't get stuck on speed bumps, speed bumps get stuck on Slamburglars.
6. Tuckin wheels and copin feels
7. Dumpin whips and stealin chicks.
8. Tire stretching and pussy popping.
9. Guilty of Slamburglary.
10. Because its not cool to be high.
11. g-codes and g-strings.
12a. There is no such thing as too low.
12b. There is no such thing as low enough.
13. Whats "out of spec"?
14. We like our girls how we like our cars, HAMMERED.
15. It's not so bad being down & out.
16. slamburglars, aka THE FRAME BANG GANG.
17. The lower you go, the better it feels.
18. Doin things, Cuttin springs.
19. Doin work, Scrapin dirt.
20. Slamburglars have their passengers sit in the back left and rub in the front right.
21. Oil pans are scheduled maintenance.
22. Fuck bitches, get coils.
23. Wheel gap is for ///M owners.
24. Dump or Die.
25. It's nice to MEAT you.
26. Innocent until proven GUILTY.
27. Beware of the liftburglars.
28. Invite only.
29. The home of bad taste and poor geometry.
30. Our nightmares consist of potholes and speed bumps.
31. MO' LOW MO' MONEY MO' BITCHES
32. Like your SAT scores....so low you cant go anywhere.
33. Scraping more pans than the food network.
34. We slam our cars almost as hard as we slam muff.
35. If sparks dont fly, your rides too high.
36. thuggish ruggish tire scrubin.
37. never doubt The Professor.
38. gun bucking and car hucking
39. turning heads for all the wrong reasons.
40. We like our girls how we like our tires, SMOKIN.
41. Low Ballin and Street Crawlin.
42. We like our cars how we like our girlfriends, DUMPED.

Who are the Slam Burglars?

The SlamBurglars are on a invite only status. We must first contact you about membership into the Slamburhood before you can become a full fledged burglar. You and your car must pass inspection, and must appear in front of the jury, or 'Neighborhood Watch.' If you are found guilty, you are in. If not, get working on your stance and come back when you have something worthy.

Thank you for reading,
-The SlamBurglars


SlamburHood Watch
OFFICIAL MEMBERS

Ivan the Terrible

Durty Harry

Will aka The Professor!

Kevin aka MK3ftw

Butteryass Dylan

Tony aka Sleazybimm